The Script (for the Fringe Fest)

I just recently finished writing the script for the Fringe Festival I'm participating in. Usually, the Fringe Fest is a way for IB Theatre students to complete their independent projects. However, since I'm IB 1 and still participating in the Fringe Fest, it doesn't count for a grade, and therefore I can use it for CAS. So, I've actually written scripts before (film scripts), but never a play, which is different. Although I didn't have the original idea (Luke and I found a video on youtube.com and used the idea), I did add some lines here and there and write the whole thing down on paper. It's a very interesting script. It's called "The Real Housewives of Shakespeare" and it mocks the reality television shows that have been so popular of late. I enjoyed writing the script because my main passion is writing. Here is the rough draft of the script:

Opening:

All five/six women sit at a dining table. They are yelling/arguing with one another quite intently. After 5 or so seconds, the scene freezes. Titania, queen of the fairies stands up and begins to speak.

Titania: I control the weather, no man controls me.

She sits back down and freezes. Goneril stands up.

Goneril: My sister got dad’s love, but I’ll get the last laugh.

She sits back down and freezes. Gertrude stands up.

Gertrude: When it comes to love, I like to keep it in the family.

She sits back down and freezes. Juliet stands up.

Juliet: Like it is the east, and Juliet is the sun. Darn right I’m the sun. The world revolves around me.

She sits back down and freezes. Lady Macbeth stands up.

Lady Macbeth: I can get blood on my hands, but not on my dress. (She brings her hands up to her face and starts making scared noises.)

She sits back down. The scene starts back up again. Goneril stands up and walks out to stage right.

Goneril: So, I invited all the ladies over for a dinner party. It’s time we got this all out on the table. I refused to be ignored any longer.

She goes back to the table and sits down. They all start arguing again. Lady Macbeth walks out to stage left.

Lady Macbeth: I know what she’s doing. We all know what she’s doing. She’s trying to get us to admit that she’s the best female character in the canon.

Gertude joins Lady Macbeth.

Gertrude: She’s not the queen. She’s garbage.

They both go back and take their seats. The arguing starts up again. Someone knocks over a candlestick. Goneril raises her voice.

Goneril: Oh my God, don’t do that! My daddy gave me that!

Titania and Juliet giggle. Goneril brushes it off.

Goneril: Not that I care about him. (She starts crying.)

Gertrude stands up.

Gertrude: As I was saying, I am the most deserving of this honor. I am the only one at this table who has ruined the lives of not one, not two, but three men in one foul swoop.

Everyone rolls their eyes.

Gertrude: And that took a lot of organizing!

Lady Macbeth: Oh my god, all the men in your family are weak! Now, Macbeth, that was a challenge.

Goneril: Oh you mean the guy who’s afraid of a little blood? (pause) Or was that, knocking?

Titania knocks on the table and Juliet stops her. Titania looks at her questioningly.

Everyone freezes except Titania.

Titania: She’s always talking about how strong Macbeth is. Woops, not supposed to say it, cause of the curse. (sarcastically) Okay… (laughs sarcastically). I’ll curse her.

Everyone unfreezes.

Juliet: Seriously though, I’m the only person at this table who’s given their life up for love. Because I believe in the power of love.

Everyone rolls their eyes. Goneril makes a “blah blah blah” symbol. Titania shushes Juliet.

Titania: Ladies, do you want to know what I do when I am feeling a little bit angry?

Gertrude: Fall in love with a donkey?

Goneril turns to her and says: Oh my God!

Gertrude: I know!

They start to laugh. Titania joins in sarcastically.

Titania: Ha ha ha ha, no. I go out, and I dance, a ringlet to the whistling wind.

Juliet (to the audience/to herself): I don’t even know what a ringlet is… Do you know what that is?

They begin to argue once more. Gertrude slams her hands on the table and stands up.

Gertrude: Ladies! Okay, Queen of the fairies, you are not the only queen at this table!

Titania: Um… okay?

Gertrude: I’m the best damn Queen this canon has ever seen!

Titania: Gertrude, seriously, once more time and I will come to your house and I will cause a storm on it.

Lady Macbeth: Yeah, Gertrude, you went a little too far with that one.

Titania: You think it’s rotten in Denmark now? Just wait until the nine men’s maris is filled up with mud… with mud. I will do that. I’m not scared to do that to Denmark. ‘Till the crows are fated with the murinflock.

They begin to argue again. Suddenly Goneril begins banging her hands on the table.

Goneril: I am the favorite! I am the favorite! I am his favorite!

She gets up and pushes the table over. Everyone stops and stares as Goneril runs off crying.

Gertrude turns to the audience, while in her chair.

Gertrude: And I thought Hamlet had daddy issues.

Everyone walks offstage. Then, after a few seconds, Lady Macbeth comes back on and sits down.

Lady Macbeth: I have a really big heart. A really big heart, and nobody gets it. Everybody thinks, “Oh I’m evil”, “Oh, she’s evil.” (she gets choked up) But there’s a lot going on inside here. There is a lot going on inside.

Juliet comes back out, sits down and begins to cry dramatically.

Titania walks back out and starts laughing.

End.